Love Life
by RunicSiren
Summary: The Women's Association decides to make Ukitake's love life their new project, and the unfortunate captain learns the meaning of "reverse harem." Multi FemUkitake pairings


I wasn't going to post this until I finished Please and Thank You, but lately it has gotten so dark I just wanted to write something lighter. Thus, you get this, which could also be called the ultimate Ukitake pairing experiment. Hope you enjoy it! Also, this story idea can be blamed on Ouran High School Host Club.

Disclaimer: None of it is mine, and I make no money from this story.

Summary: The Women's Association decides to make Ukitake's love life their new project, and the unfortunate captain learns the meaning of "reverse harem." Multi FemUkitake pairings

Rating: T (may go up later)

Pairings: (At least the ones that are planned for now) Kenpachi/Ukitake, Kyouraku/Ukitake, Hitsugaya/Ukitake, Ichigo/Ukitake, Urahara/Ukitake, Kira/Ukitake, Byakuya/Ukitake, Hisagi/Ukitake, Mayuri/Ukitake (maybe, not sure on this one yet), Renji/Ukitake, Starrk/Ukitake, Grimmjow/Ukitake

Told you there would be a lot. If you have any ideas for the dates or a pairing you want to see that is not on the list let me know and I'll see if I can work it in. Aizen, Gin, and Kaname will not be included because this takes place after Aizen's defeat.

Warnings: FemUkitake, possible spoilers for after Fake Karakura Town, and the Women's Association (because they should always come with a warning)

NOTE: So, if you've read my other stories you know I've been spelling Soifon as, well that. But, due the second official character book I will be spelling it as Suì-Fēng now. If her name has already appeared in one of my stories then I will not change it for consistency sake.

Love Life

Prologue: And the Candidates Are…

For once in her life Nanao was at a loss. The Women's Association had officially run out of things to do. The war had been won, rebuilding finished, and even the surviving Arrancar had found a place within the Seireitei. Izuru and Hisagi had become skilled enough to pass the Captain's Proficiency Test, leaving the Gotei 13 with only one missing Captain. They didn't even have to change meeting rooms anymore. Byakuya had finally given in, saying he was too busy to keep chasing them out every five minutes, and had given them their own official room in his mansion. Of course they had to observe certain conditions, but Nanao was quite skilled at keeping people in line.

"I'm bored." Nanao glared over at Rangiku, who slumped over the table, pouting.

"Well, does anyone have any ideas?" The Eight Division Lieutenant was met with silence. "That's what I thought," she muttered under her breath.

"If Ukki was here she'd bring me candy," Yachiru said mournfully.

'_You would think someone had killed her cat,'_ Nanao thought, trying her best to reign in her temper. When Wonderweiss had punched through Ukitake's chest he had destroyed the bandages she used to bind it. Isane and Unohana had done their best to hide it, but on a battlefield with so many needing attention it had been impossible. So, Ukitake had given up on hiding her real gender, although she still wrapped her chest to help with her breathing.

Nanao felt a shiver run down her spine. Turning around she saw Rangiku blink a few times before slowly pushing herself off the table, a sly smile gracing her lips. _'I'm going to regret this.'_

"We are not going to try to recruit Captain Ukitake again," she said flatly, trying to stop whatever was coming in its tracks. "She has already made it clear that she is too busy to join and we will not bother her about it again!"

"You're too uptight," Rangiku said, the grin not disappearing. "And that's not what I was going to suggest." She paused for dramatic effect as the women in the room either leaned forward in interest or prepared themselves for what was coming. "Captain Ukitake has been disguised as a man for so many years, and I doubt she had a date in all that time."

'_Oh, no, no, no, no, no,'_ Nanao thought frantically. _'She can't be suggesting what I think she's suggesting.'_

"It's been some time since we found out that she was a woman, but she still wears bandages so it's hard to think of her as one when everyone is so used to thinking of her as a man, once again leading to no dates. Captain Ukitake probably hasn't had a date since before she went into the Academy." Rangiku's smirk vanished, turning to horror in a split second. "What if she never had a date before then? What if she's never had a date at all? We have to fix this!"

"What kind of..!" Nanao began, but she was cut off by a joyous shout.

"We have to help Ukki!" Yachiru shouted.

"I'm sure Captain Ukitake can find someone by herself," Kiyone said, starting out strong and ending weakly as Yachiru turned her glare on the unfortunate girl.

She looked over to Yoruichi and Unohana for help, who were both attending for once, but the two older women just smiled. They clearly had no intention of interfering.

"This can't be legal," Nanao muttered. "Would anyone like to think about what's going to happen to us if the Commander finds out we're setting up Captain Ukitake on dates?"

Unohana's soft chuckle drew their attention. "Not much actually. He's been pestering Shunsui and Jūshirō for years to give him grandchildren."

Yachiru beamed as if someone had just given her candy. Rangiku had moved to the front of the room where the chalkboard was, her sly smile back in place as she picked up a piece of chalk. "Who should we set her up with then?"

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru yelled instantly.

"Is that really a good idea?" Rukia asked, but Rangiku had already written down Kenpachi's name on the board.

"That's two. Who else?"

"Two?" Nanao question as she turned to look at the board, seeing that Rangiku had added Hitsugaya to the list as well.

"Well," Hinamori said tentatively, "what about Kira and Shūhei?"

"Yes, and yes," Rangiku said as she added their names to the list as well.

"She's been spending a lot of time with Starrk and Grimmjow since they decided to stay in Soul Society, what about them?" Isane asked, waiting for her idea to be shot down. Instead, she was surprised when Rangiku happily wrote their names down.

"Urahara!" Suì-Fēng suddenly shouted, startling everyone.

"What?" the busty blonde asked slowly. Everyone knew Suì-Fēng's hatred of Urahara, so the fact that she suggested him was hard for everyone to wrap their minds around.

Yoruichi just smirked knowingly. If Urahara was in a relationship with Ukitake he couldn't be in a relationship with Yoruichi. "Hmm, maybe, although Ichigo might be a better choice."

Rukia gaped at the purple haired woman. "My brother!" she shouted out, then looked sheepishly at Kiyone, ashamed that she had participated.

"Then we should add Renji as well," Rangiku said, writing down the new names. "Anyone else?"

"Mayuri-sama."

'_I should just give up,'_ Nanao thought as all eyes turned to Nemu.

"Why..?"

"Just write it down for now, we don't want to hurt her feelings," Nanao hissed to Rangiku. "We can think of a way to get out of it later." She handed Yachiru a piece of candy to keep her quiet as well.

"My, my, I think we've forgotten the most obvious choice," Unohana said, taking a sip of tea.

'_Where did she get that?'_

"Who?" Yachiru shouted eagerly.

"Shunsui."

"What?" Nanao shouted.

Rangiku smacked her forehead. "How could we forget?"

"I think that's a pretty good list," Yoruichi said as she sat up from his reclined position.

"This cannot end well," Nanao moaned.

"Of course it will, Nana!" The pink haired girl stood on the table, smiling up at the black haired woman.

Nanao sighed, looking at the list again. "How do you expect to set her up with Urahara and Ichigo when they're in the World of the Living?"

"We'll ask Gramps," Yachiru answered as if it was obvious, oblivious to the fact that Nanao looked like she was going to cry.

"So, who do we set her up with first?" Yoruichi asked, her smirk growing wider. She was evidently enjoying this immensely.

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan!" Yachiru shouted, leaving no room for debate.

"Poor Captain Ukitake," Kiyone whimpered.

'_Poor us.'_

/

Byakuya heard cheering as he walked past the Women's Association room. He paused to listen for a moment before shaking his head and walking off. If he left them alone they would leave him alone…he hoped.

/

"Gramps!"

Chōjirō sighed as the pink haired girl came crashing into the Commander's office. Yamamoto, however, took it all in stride. "Is there something I can help you with, Lieutenant Kusajishi?"

"Ukki needs to go to the World of the Living."

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow at the statement. "Why is that? And why are you asking me instead of her?"

"We're going to set Ukki up on a date with the hat guy and Icchi!"

Both eyes opened at this. "And why would I help you with that?"

"Cause we're going to help Ukki find someone to marry, so she can be happy and have babies!"

"Very well," he said, writing something quickly on the paper. "You may take this to Jūshirō."

"Yay!" Yachiru shouted, grabbing the paper and racing off toward the Thirteenth Division.

"Captain?"

"Hm, what is it, Chōjirō?"

"May I ask, why are you helping her with this scheme?"

"Because I want grandchildren, and those two have taken too long in giving them to me!"

/

Well, let me know what you think. Next chapter will be Ukitake's date with Kenpachi. I'll also post a poll soon so you can tell me who you want her to end up with at the end.


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